Falling Off the Wagon
Okay, so the story goes like this: About six or seven months ago I watched one too many PETA videos and became increasingly sad at the way animals are treated and slaughtered all for the purpose of ending up between two pieces of bread for me to eat. It didn't feel right and I decided, rather rashly, that I was going to live the vegetarian life once and for all. My quest lasted for about two WHOLE weeks.
Really, I can't pin point exactly when or where I decided to nibble on animal flesh again, but alas, I did. I became a full fledged carnivore once again and went on with my life. A few months later I was on the PETA website again and I came across the videos portraying farm animals and their living conditions. Of course I saw the abuse and neglect and that feeling of sadness came back. Again, I vowed to be a vegetarian.
My goal was to begin my vegetarian path so that it would lead me to become a vegan soon. Well, it's been over four months since then and I have eaten meat "3" times since. So, no, I'm not perfect, I still fall. However, it's a path I'm happy to be learning.
Yesterday as we were helping some family with a GINORMOUS organization project, I realized it was nearing 2:00 PM and I had not had a morsel of food. It was hot. I was tired. I was hungry. Then, I smelled it. The roasting of hot dogs in a pan. Oh, the smell can actually be good when you haven't eaten, yet (hence another reason why breakfast is the most important part of your day). So, as a break in between our tedious task hot dogs were served.
My husband pointed out that I wouldn't be eating them so I was offered a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. Let me just tell you...I ABHOR peanut butter and jelly. I actually love peanut butter, but jelly is just gross. Maybe it's too sticky or too sweet or a combo of both, but I cannot stand it. So I interjected by stating, "I'll eat a hot dog." After the bewildered look on my hubby's face faded I proceeded to load my piece of bread with mustard and a dog. I ate not one, but T-W-O of those suckers. They tasted all right. Definitely not great. Not worth breaking my oath, that's for sure!
I felt badly afterwards. Was I really that weak? But, I've decided to forgive myself and keep moving forward. If anything eating those hot dogs made me realize that I don't really miss the meat. Not when there are so many more options. So, I'm again in recovery from carnivore-ism, may the journey continue...