Fun and Laughter at the Expense of Others

I found this really interesting product the other day.  It's called PET HEAD and it's made by the BED HEAD brand.  It dyes your pets fur and if you have  a pet that has hair-like fur you can also use it to style.

My poor dog was the victim of this new found item.  See if you can tell where I painted her purple:

She was so cute as she sat there innocently letting me paint her white spots.  I have another dog who is mostly yellow so I couldn't find a place for the purple to stand out except for a tiny white patch on her nose:

It's cute isn't it?  Just something different to look at.  Kinda like it's fun when we see someone trip and fall or get pranked.  Come on, you know you chuckle (assuming they're okay, of course).  The reason I do it is because it gives me permission to be clumsy and to be real. 

Life is fun, good, interesting, and the age old advice of being able to laugh at yourself is still as priceless as ever.

Passing Along

Sometimes you find such a great story that you want to share.  I found this blog with an awesomely funny tale within it.  Click on the pink link below:

Parents Wanted

Enjoy!

Burger King

People seem to think that being a vegeterian means no more fast food.  One day I aspire to be so valiant in my effort of healthy cuisine.  However, in today's day and age, I still frequent fast food places.  What do I order?  You know, fries, baked potatos, side salads, oh yes and of course Coca Cola (Pepsi only when there's no Coke options).  I'm terrible, I know.

Yesterday, my husband and I dabbled our way into a Burger King to order a late night meal on our way home from a long day at the office.  To my astounding surprise I noticed an item on the Burger King Menu that out of sheer curiosity I had to order.  They have a FREAKING VEGGIE BURGER on their menu!  No joke!  So I ordered it and hubby got his Whopper thingy and we went over to the register to pay.

A manager-like-dude stepped up to the worker behind the counter who had just made our food and asked his employee, "Did someone just order a Veggie Burger?"  Disgust oozing out of his tone.  The employee simply nods his head while offering an 'understanding' smile to which the manager then responds by shaking his head in absolute disapproval and saying, "Yuck."  I could hear it in his voice, what his young brain was processing was, "What has this world come to?"

Self Inflicted Injury

I am a self certified KLUTZ!  I can trip and bang my head like no one else.  In fact, I hit my head on everything on a regular basis.  Examples are:  getting out of the car, opening a door, picking something up from under the table.  You name it.  I hit my head on so many things and so many times my husband no longer offers any sympathy.  Each bang is followed by me rubbing my head and proclaiming the ever clever phrase of "OWWW" while my husband is smirking and shaking his head and rolling his eyes.  It's just a normal ocurrence around here.

One day as I was coming UP the stairs I somehow miscalculated the size of the step and tripped, causing my body to "fall" upward.  My uncoordinated hands flailed with mighty effort to no avail.  My left arm now has a new scar where I scraped a nice chunk of skin off in the motion.

Yesterday, feeling a little "un"-symmetrical I decided to now fall DOWN the stairs and I banged my right hand pretty well.  No worries, though, because now I have a matching scar on that arm.  Yes, these are my battle wounds.

Being clumsy is no longer embarrassing for me.  I fall, trip, or whatever and it hurts for a second and then I laugh.  I laugh because I'm not perfect, I have the scars to prove it, and each scar reminds me of all of that.  My life is a kaleidescope of experiences and each one has it's place.  Some are just more bodily visible than others, that's all.

File an Extension

That's it!  I'm not doing ANYONE's taxes ANYMORE!    I really am not the biggest fan of doing my taxes (Did I just strike a chord in uniqueness here?  Prolly not...)  I actually finished my federal taxes by February, but then, digressed and didn't finish my state taxes until April 14th.  A day before the deadline.  I'd say that's progress nonetheless.

Over the last couple of years I've been helping out my in-laws file theirs.  Now, I'm no tax expert, but theirs are really easy.  Same job, residence, etc. for years with nothing much to claim.  So, I agreed to help them out.  While I was filing in February I worked on their return and before I hit the "efile" button, my father-in-law said to hold off. 

Well, April 15th rolls around and we give him a call.  For tax purposes?  No, it's actually his BIRTHDAY!  Can you believe it?  At least he never forgets the deadline.  He was under the impression that we had already filed the taxes and realized that it hadn't been done, so he began to panic.  I'm not talking just a little worried and maybe fussing so that it can get done in time, I'm talking FULL BLOWN snapping-at-me-without-realizing-it panic.  It was all the way to 8:00 in the A - M and he was freaking out!  My husband talked him through most of the day as I found some time to whip them out on the computer for him to submit.

The day wasn't over, yet.  He owed money so he wanted to send out the money order in order to avoid penalties and interest.  He left work early and rushed to a store for the money orders so he can drop them off in the mail before 5:00 PM when the post office closes.  He didn't believe us when we told him that he can drop it off all the way until midnight (even though we called and confirmed it).  He was so nervous trying to fill out the money order information, but after marking up a few scribbles he put them in their envelopes and rushed over.  When he got there, he noticed a big sign right in front

"Mail deposited before Midnight tonight April 15, 2010 will be retrieved and postmarked for today's date"

Then, and only then did he take a deep breath.   Ahhh, after an entire day of drama, he finally settled at home for a bbq with the fam to celebrate his big birthday.   My husband's reaction to the day's events : "He's getting old, we have to be more patient..."  Poor old guy, hopefully the e-file gets accepted, or else I'm not the one bearing the news!

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Recently I was wrestling with my testosteronely nephew Max.  I put him in a full nelson thingy and everytime I tried to hold him tightly, he wiggled his little behind right from under my grasp.  We were having fun.  Then, he went to wrestle with my husband  (three time state champion in wrestling) who actually knew some legit moves.  This kid was hillarious!  Now, the little tough guy was crying for mercy!  Too funny.

After the Max got released from the grasps of death he stood up and went to his room, seemingly to move on to another activity.  Right before he goes in to his room he looks at me and wiggles his finger towards his direction.

Max:  Aunt Eneida, can you come here?

I got up and moved toward him.

Me:  What's up?

Max:  Can you wrestle with me?  I know I can beat you...

Ohhh, kiddos.  Hey, at least they tell it like it is!

How to Master the Art of Sales

You want to learn how to be a successful sales person?  Just go to a fast food restaurant in Newark, NJ where you'll see a top notch example up front and personal.  My husband and I were pulled up in line at a drive through for McDonald's with the driver window rolled down ready to place our order (even though we were about 3 or 4 cars away).  Right then, we made first contact.  A lady looked straight at us and surely she noticed our UTAH license plates and decided to work her magic. 

She points in our direction and says "You two make a great couple!"

We chuckle and think 'okayyyy'

She continues, this time pointing at my husband, "Make sure you put a ring on her finger!"

We just responded, "Yeah."  And thought that was the weirdest exchange ever!  Who says East Coast people aren't nice?  So she is now walking in front of our car and then abruptly stops.  Shakes her finger at us and continues her story.

Saleslady:  "You know, I should tell you," she begins, now right up against my husbands face bent over on the driver side, speaking through our prematurely opened window.  "I work as a nurse, I don't do drugs, I don't smoke or drink and I have four kids..."

Us:  "Oh, yeahhh?"  We then exchange a glance at each other as if to say 'What the heck?'

Saleslady:  "My stove is completely broken, I just got the cops to come over to make sure there isn't a leak or anything..."

Us:  Still baffled. 

We begin to drive forward as our turn to order food quickly approaches, and she walks along side the car still bent over talking...

Saleslady:  "Look I'm just eating ice!"  At this moment she shows us a cup she's holding full of ice cubes and then continues, "I'm just trying to feed my FOUR babies at home, maybe looking to buy them some cereal or something, but I just don't have anything!"

She gives a sad look and then continues to remind us that she doesn't do drugs, smoke, or drink and that she's a nurse in the area.  But, alas, it was almost our turn, and I'm a sucker so I reached in my bag, pulled out a dollar bill and handed it over across from my husband into her eager snatching hand.  But that's not all...

Saleslady:  Facing my husband now, "Sir, do you have any change?  I don't like asking the ladies!"  Was she being polite, demeaning, or just slick?" 

Us:  My husband shakes his head no, and by that time I give her a few more cents I found in my bag. 

Saleslady:  Snatchingly, "Thanks..." and then just walks away rapidly.

My husband looks over at me for being such a fool, but I've justified it as she needed it way more than I did. If her story was true, then I helped.  If it wasn't, then too bad for her living a life where she had to beg.  Either way, I did a good deed, :o).

After getting our food and driving down the town on our way to run errands we pulled over to a spot by a sidewalk to enter an address into our GPS and saw two men walking past.  They were innocently, conversing together, with seemingly no perceived agenda.  I reached over and locked the car doors as they were about to pass by.

My husband: "Are you serious?"  Wondering why I was so paranoid.

Me:  "Did you not just see that lady poke her head through our windshield?  Yes I'm serious!"

Ahhh, just another Friday night in Jersey!

Pigeons

I am that lady.  Yes, the one who opens her window and throws bread out on her window sill to watch the birds come over and graze upon the bounty.  Am I really that big of a bird lover?  Well, let's just say that I just love ALL animals and make no exception.  So, what kind of birds come to my window?  Since I'm on the east coast, about 10 miles away from New York City, I get the infamous PIGEONS!  Yes, the cockroach of the sky.  Dirty ghetto pigeons that don't fly away if you get too close, since they're used to and comfortable with humans.  To me, they aren't any lower class than a robin or a blue jay.  I think they're cute little chubby creatures and they make interesting noises:o).

It's funny how animals stay perceptive to the history of their locations.  I usually see at least three or four of the suckers perched against my window daily and we've had as many as a dozen birds at a time during the feeding frenzy.  It's funny to watch.  Some of them are lazy little things that don't walk over to the pieces of bread  unless you throw a piece right in front of them.  Even my pigeons are SPOILED!

So, recently, as my husband and I were napping during the days of the East Coast Heat Wave we heard the pigeons perform their unusual cooing just outside our window.  This was a sound we have gotten used to (like the sirens and loud car radios) so we really didn't think much about it, until it started getting louder than usual.  We opened our eyes at the exact same time and looked over to our bedroom window and saw two pigeons sitting on our opened window pane facing INSIDE of our house.  YES!  They were coming INTO our home!  My dogs were going crazy!

I about rolled over three times laughing so hard as my husband skipped straight up and shooed them back out and closed the window.  Silly pigeons, the outside of our window is all yours, but the inside of our house is for the dogs!

Funny Bone

You're minding your own business, perhaps completely focused on the task at hand and it comes at you with no warning whatsoever.  WHACK!  You hit your Humerus Bone (AKA Funny Bone). 

As I described the above scenario you probably cringed.  There's nothing FUNNY about that!  It hurts and it's the weirdest kind of pain, too.  I think it's really called a "funny" bone (other than for the obvious reason) because it makes others laugh when they see it happen to you.

Do you ever notice how if someone gets hurt and they're  not permanently damaged, that it's actually funny?  You see it in movies and cartoons all the time.  We laugh when someone falls and we are especially hardy in our chuckle when we see someone bonk their head on something (which I do on PLENTY of occassions).  It's plain and simple funny to be goofy and out of the ordinary, no matter the scenario.

I guess, I feel that if we can get a laugh out of someone else, shouldn't we also (if not more so) get a laugh when silly things happen to us?  I think so.  Usually when I fall or trip or bump my noggin, instead of looking around to see if anyone (heaven forbid) "saw" the tragedy which just ocurred, I laugh. I  So much more fun than being stressed.

This should be a good day.  Watch your step!

Google Changes its Name

You read that right!  The company we all affectionately know as "Google" has officially changed its name to "Topeka"!  Yes, like the city in Kansas!

Apparently Topeka, Kansas initiated the gesture by changing the name of the city to Google, Kansas.  How nice of Google to return the favor!  So, does this mean that our email will no longer be @gmail.com and instead become @Tmail.com?  We'll see!

Ahem...check the date:o)